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THE PURITY FOCUS
Focusing on purity, cultivating contentment, and keeping a single focus
We all dream of someday being married to our dream man; after all, the chances of getting married are very high! But during this period of singleness, well, there are struggles that come on your journey, questions, one could say. On this page, I hope to cover
In His Love,
Miss Taylor
"Letters from the Heart:-Focus!
Redirecting My Focus
Ekk, my focus is running away from [the cross]! It tends to stray from Godly paths
onto pleasure-pleasing thoughts.
Let's explore this: What is my focus now?
Let's test this with Philippians 4:8:
-Is it true? Yes, he is a true, real person, but...
-Is it noble? No, it is not a noble act when I am so concentrated on a man who is not my own husband.
-Is it right? No, I should not be focused on another woman's husband.
-Is it pure? No! I am losing my emotional purity when I devote so much time (or anytime) thinking about him
-Is it lovely? Can (literally) lust and wrong, pleasure-pleasing thoughts be lovely? No!
-Is it admirable? I certainly wouldn't admire anyone desiring/thinking about my husband.
-Is it excellent or praiseworthy? No; in fact it's shameful.
*a certain young man whom I am struggling with wrong thoughts about recently."
This was a journal entry I composed when I was dealing with an infatuation. What is an infatuation? The 'normal' term for this feeling is a crush. Now you probably know what I am talking about-perhaps too well, in fact. Ah yes, we meet a certain young man and can't help but notice how gentlemanly he is, or how polite and refined his manners are, and that he is so...well...good-looking, and handsome.
Sarah Malley describes crushes this way in her book, Before You Meet Prince Charming:
"We meet a young man, and before we even get to know him, we find ourselves daydreaming about him, attaching our first name to his last name to see how it sounds, and choosing the colors of our bridesmaids' dresses. As soon as we realize what we're doing, we're horrified, since after all, we hardly even know him. Feeling embarassed by our own foolishness, we purpose not to let our minds wander that way again. But five minutes we suddenly realize that we've just been dreaming about 'so and so' all over again, wondering what our kids would look like, or choosing which flowers we'd like at our wedding. In frustration, we wonder how to stop this pattern."
Certainly, each of us can testify to situations like these. We definately feel very angry with ourselves when we let our minds wander with these fanciful thoughts.
Still, what is an infatuation? In Webster's 1828 Dictionary, it is described as such:
Infatuation: "A state of mind in which the intellectual powers are weakened, either generally, or in regard to particular objects, so that the person affected acts without his usual judgement, and contrary to the dictates of reason."
I believe the fruit of infatuations are:
Crushes/infatuations are hard to defeat. It's natural to be attracted to the opposite gender, but this attraction should be directed toward our own husbands, not other young men. How can we combat these bothersome thoughts?
Here's some techniques that I use:
Combating Crushes
Edited Article from Miss Taylor's Former Blog
I would like to talk about waiting versus dating.
First, I am commited to waiting and staying pure for my future spouse. I believe that God will bring a certain man into my life (if He so chooses) to be my husband. I believe in courtship, not dating.
On my hand I wear a ring symboliizing my commitment and wear it as a reminder. On the ring is a heart, and in that heart is a key. The design symbolizes my heart and I have chosen to "lock" it up and keep it safe and pure to the best of ability for my future husband. I will someday "unlock" my heart and give it to my husband on our wedding day. Of course, my heart is Jesus's first and always will be, but as it has been said, "Our bodies and hearts are not our own; they belong first to Jesus, then our parents, and then our spouses."
My problem with dating follows as such: it involves too much hurt, pain, and loss of purity, and it also demonstrates of lack of trust in God. One gives away pieces of her heart, and many times, their physical purity. I am striving to keep my purity complete for my husband and what a hindrance dating would be to my goal!
Do this: take a piece of paper and cut two hearts out. Write your name in the middle of both hearts. Take one of the hearts and tear pieces off until all you are left with is a torn and tattered "something-rather."
This is want happens during dating. Imagine giving that broken heart to your husband, saying, "Here Honey, this is what's left of my heart. You can have it" I'm sure your husband would be excited to receive such a gift-not! How horrible!
But wait, there is still the other heart. Do not tear that one up. But rather leave it whole, complete. Imagine giving that one to your husband saying, "Here darling, this is my heart. I have kept it pure and safe just for you to the best of my ability. Please accept this gift." What do you want to give to your husband?
I can just hear one complain, "But how can I meet guys and find my future husband?" I have some news for you, honey: if God wants you to get married, HE WILL BRING YOUR HUSBAND TO YOU!! We know of many people whom God has brought their spouse to them and put them in the right places at just the right times. If you are so concentrated on finding a husband, you just might miss him when God brings him to you.
Even without dating, a young woman can still give away pieces of her heart to other men. It is easy to let our thoughts run wild. We must learn to take these thoughts in prayer to Lord's altar. We must say, "Lord, here I bring these wrong thoughts to you. I place them at Your holy altar and lay them at Your feet. Help me stay pure and focused on You and trust You to bring someone special into my life at just the right time."
Let us stay focused on God and trust our FIRST Love of our lives. Remember, He will help us and give strength for when we feel tempted and tried on every side. Thank God that He will be with us!
©2008 Godly Girlhood
The Kiss, the Match
by Taylor Garms
A kiss is a match,
Small, insignificant.
With a little "would"
and a phosphorus tip,
it sets a world on fire.
Its danger is this:
You play with matches,
you get burned.
If not contained in
the proper way,
it’ll start a raging inferno,
ravaging landscapes,
changing lives...forever.
Yet, if used to light a candle,
bright, perfumed,
it will fill lives with hope,
love, beauty, warmth.
Use your kiss to light a candle;
Abandon your reckless dreams of
throwing it to the wind.
If you play with matches,
you will get burned.
©2009
Miss Taylor's Purity Ring